HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
