if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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