She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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