...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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