3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
