So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
