I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I CAN MOONWALK!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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