K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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