The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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