i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Randomize
