if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
