how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
