I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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