Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
