just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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