Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
BRING THE BAGELS
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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