Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
