I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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