Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
