do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm really busy with my period
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