I bet he comes in French.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
