I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
