Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
