there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Green mimosas i think yes
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
