Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
you had me at cake vodka
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
