I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
