Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I need water and some morals
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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