Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
