It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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