pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
