they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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