So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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