I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
