So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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