Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
