I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
