Where is the hickey?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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