I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
