The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
