mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
