we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You took a bar mat shot.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize