And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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