i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
