I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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