Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
