Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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