Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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