There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
