38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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