My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
