If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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