i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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