I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You were trust falling into bushes
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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