okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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