I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
