so explain again why im purple
no
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
