how can u be prego again
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
