Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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