How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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