Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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