eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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