She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
How external is "for external use only"?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
