He asked to "fluff my boner.."
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize