i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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