yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
