she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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