I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
why is half of my head shaved?
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